The Devil’s Advocate
– Child abuse and the men in black.
A survivor’s account of the failings of Government, the
Churches, Religious Orders and our Criminal Justice System, in understanding
and responding to victims of sexual abuse in the UK.
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All proceeds from
sales of this book will be donated to The Lantern Project – a charity
supporting victims and survivors of child abuse.
Intro
Devils Advocate Library is a new imprint established by
author Graham Wilmer MBE, dedicated to publishing books about the impact of
Psychosexual Trauma in Childhood and how such trauma impairs development into
adulthood. ‘The Devil’s Advocate – Child abuse and the Men in Black’ is the
first such title to be published by this new imprint. Other titles will follow,
which will also be featured here.
Contact the author: grahamwilmer51@gmail.com
Publisher’s info:
Title: The Devil’s Advocate - Child abuse and the Men in
Black
Author: Graham Wilmer MBE
© Copyright 2014 Graham Wilmer MBE
First Edition Published 2014 by Devil’s Advocate Library
ISBN 978-0-9928651-0-8 - RRP £12.00
Typeset and design by Rory
Wilmer
Printed and Bound in Great
Britain
By Andrew Kilburn Print
Services Ltd., Leeds.
Quote: “Shocking, disturbing and courageous.” Peter Garsden – President – Association of
Child Abuse Lawyers ACAL.
About the Author:
Graham Wilmer was born in Bedford,
England in 1951. His primary education showed him to be a promising pupil with
a bright future, but his enrolment at a Salesian Catholic Grammar school put
paid to all of that. At the age of 16, he disclosed to his headmaster that one
of his teachers had been sexually abusing him for the previous two years, and
he needed help. Instead of helping, the Salesian Order closed ranks, protected
the teacher and swore Graham to silence. The psychological trauma and the lack
of support after his disclosure resulted in him failing all of his GCE ‘O’
level exams, and he was thrown out of the school. His parents were not told of
the abuse. For many years afterwards, Graham suffered with mental health
problems, but his natural talent as a writer enabled him to find work, and he
went on to develop a successful career as an aerospace journalist. In 1998,
Graham, suffered a serious mental breakdown, caused by the re-emergence of
memories of the abuse he had suffered as a child. Several years of therapy
followed, during which time Graham, with the aid and support of his wife
Barbara, established the Lantern Project, a support service for other victims
of child abuse. Graham developed his charity into a nationally recognised
organisation, which is now funded by the NHS, and is a partner agency with many
other statutory organisations, including the Metropolitan Police Child Abuse
Command. He has written numerous books on the subject of Child Abuse, and he
was awarded an MBE in 2013 for ‘Services to Victims of Abuse’. He has recently
been appointed to advise the newly formed National Safeguarding Board of the
Church of England. Graham and Barbara have three grown up children and two
foster children. They live in New Brighton in Wirral.
Author’s comments.
I have written this book to help expose
the catastrophic shortcomings of the United Kingdom’s government, the Churches, religious institutions and our criminal justice system, as they attempt to deal with the scale and consequences of sexual abuse in our country. The book is far from the full picture, but it should serve to remind those who hold power in our nation that, as a society, we are not dealing well with the enormity of the problem, which remains hidden in plain sight, despite the courage of the many victims who come forward, even though that usually means they face hostility, resentment and denial, rather
than the compassion, understanding and acknowledgement they need and deserve.
The cost of sexual abuse in our society, in whatever way one measures it, is on a scale that makes it both a national disgrace and a national health epidemic, neither being something that should be tolerated by any government, but tolerated it is.
What
follows is not just about me, although it tells my story. It is about the ongoing failure of society as a whole to respond to and support victims of sexual abuse. It is also about the many conflicting and deep routed myths and negative perceptions about sexual abuse: what it really is and the devastating consequences of its long- term impact. Some of you may find the repetition of facts a little tedious, but I ask you to bear with it and read on, as it will help those of you who have not suffered the
blight of sexual abuse understand the seemingly never-ending nightmare that
survivors struggle with on a daily basis. For us, the story never ends, but
with the right kind of support you can reach a level of recovery that is
sustainable, and from that point onwards you become the master of your history,
rather than its slave. For those victims who still struggle in silence, despite
what I say about the lack of effective support services, you have nothing to
fear from speaking out, other than fear itself. So, if you want help to tell
your story, but don’t know where to start or what to expect, contact me and I
will help you.
Graham Wilmer MBE
Acknowledgements
There are many people who helped me recover from the abuse I
suffered in my childhood, especially my family - Barbara, Rory, Eve and
Zachary, without who I would not be here. Neither would The Lantern Project,
which I set up with their help and fellow survivor David Williams in 2003.
Since then, the Lantern Project, with the support and dedication of our amazing
volunteers, peer mentors and trustees, has helped many hundreds of other
survivors, and is now a contracted NHS specialist service provider for victims
and survivors of sexual abuse. So, to everyone who has helped me, in whatever
way, I offer you my grateful and sincere thanks. I would especially like to
thank Detective Constable John Hobbs, of Surrey Police, not only for his dogged
pursuit of the truth, but also for continuing to help and support me, long
after the trial of my abuser was over. I would also like to acknowledge the
many other Salesian survivors who made contact with me after my first book was
published and offered their support and solidarity in my quest for justice,
some of whose testimonies also appear in this book. I would also like to thank
Nicky and her family for their unwavering support during and after the trial,
and my friend Noel Swift for his support, and for allowing me to include his
story. I would also like to pay tribute to The Lantern Project’s volunteers and
trustees, especially David, Peter, Keith, Jill, Pippa, Barbara, Rory, Eve,
Zach, Siobhán, Gary, Liz, Judy, Carl, Christine, Alan, Pat, Sue, Ray, Candida
and Angela, all of who have helped make the project what it is today, along
with the solicitors who have guided me, Stephen Wilde, Peter Garsden and Edward
Craven. I also want to thank Alex and Alice Parsons, who donated the assets of
their charity, the Wirral Fellowship, to the Lantern Project to help us
continue our work at a time when we were struggling financially. I also want to
acknowledge my colleagues in the Stop Church Child Abuse Working Party: Anne
Lawrence, Phil Johnson, Jo Kind, Lucy Duckworth (all of MACSAS), Sue Cox of
Survivors Voice Europe, Richard Scorer of Pannone LLP Solicitors, Peter
Saunders of NAPAC and the campaign’s Chairman, David Greenwood of Switalskis
LLP Solicitors, and everyone else who is helping and supporting the SCCA
campaign. I am also grateful to the following press and media: BBC, The Hendon
Times, The Surrey Herald, The Guardian, The Australian, The Independent, The Liverpool
Echo, The Age (Australia), The Mercury (Australia), and The Catholic Herald. I
would also like to say thank you to my old school friend Ed Murphy for his
thoughtful editing and patient proofreading of the manuscript. Finally, I would
like to say a special thank you to Eric Baggaley, for his courage, wisdom and
friendship, during a very difficult time. Without his skill as a mediator, and
his courage in coming forward in the first place, this book could not have been
written.
Media copyright credits:
BBC: page 226, page 300
The Hendon Times: page 128
The Surrey Herald: page 134
The Guardian: page 149
The Australian: page 193, page 318
The Liverpool Echo: page 311, page 313
The Age (Australia): page 317
The Mercury (Australia): page 319
The Catholic Herald: page 323
Photo copyright
credits:
Front cover – Rory Wilmer
Rear cover – HM The Queen & BCA Ltd.
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